My Curiosity About My Own Flaws Piqued My Interest

My week has been filled with a plethora of trust talks and uncomfortable conversations, stemming from new company initiatives to provide an environment of respect and free-flowing feedback chambers. The office is abuzz with topics of open communication, digging deeper with team-members, accountability, passive aggression in the workplace, and leadership.

As I pondered my own downfalls in these areas, I had a realization. Oftentimes, I am the literal queen of passive aggression. This wasn't exactly new information, but it became a bit damning when put into perspective. Whether I feel threatened in some way, uncomfortable, or out of my element, my fight or flight reaction tends to result with "ignore issue, it'll solve itself".

And while I have been working on correlating skills, such as communication and leadership, addressing my resolve to avoid conflict wasn't on my immediate to do list. Luckily for me, I have an amazing boss who is much wiser than I, and has been able to mentor me to self-evaluate.

While evaluating, I got curious. Could this be a common character flaw for women in general, or did I literally just get hit with the "Avoid Conflict" gene?

What Does Science Say?

So, I did some research. Not the most in depth research in the world, but some research, nonetheless.

This study, from 2013 claims that yes, women are more passive by nature. They allude that passive aggression can be linked back to prehistoric times. This behavior was used to ward off other women from potential mates, ensure personal safety, and provide a protection mechanism for their children.

“The benefits of using indirect aggression seem clear—fewer competitors and greater access to preferred mates, which in ancestral times would have been linked to differential reproduction rates, the driving force of evolution by sexual selection,” One of the study owners explains. ”

— Tracy Vaillancourt

And while I felt comforted that this might mean I wasn't alone with this issue, it also made me angry.

Whether genetics, culture, or society was a culprit in my development of this bad habit, it's 2016, and women can do anything.

So, to that I say. No. Women aren't more passive aggressive than men, and I'm going to make it my personal vendetta to change my own behavior, and I'd love for anyone in a similar scenario to jump on board the train with me.

Aggressive women unite! And, for those of you who know me in real-life, please call me out on my shit if you see it.

Do you believe women are more passive aggressive than men? I'd love to discuss it with you in a comment below.